anxiety · bipolar · bpd · depression · help · mental health · paranoia · poetry · stigma

No love lost

Another strangers eyes breaks my gaze,
hands slip up my leg without a phase.
Another strangers lips touch mine,
as our bodies start to intertwine.
To bed I bring hope and chance,
As we go about our midnight dance.
Yet in the morning I feel guilt and shame,
This stranger only knows my name.
He has not even glimpsed within,
their interests go no deeper than skin.
Romanced myself into another dream,
Fuelled by the drink is currently the theme!
Arrived feeling lost, left feeling void,
not even angry, not even annoyed.
Why is the only question? Why I exclaim!?
Don’t I wait for a love which is mine to proclaim.

5c49e9d3ab5100cc3315244b9df8ca70--jarek-kubicki-dark-love-art

bpd · mental health · poetry · spoken word

Time

What do we seek in time and space?

When we leave this world without a trace.

Our ashes might fly into the night sky,

Or dirt may lay on what was once called ‘me’.

Who I am right here means just the same as I was there,

I’m a mystery, an illusion, I’m filled with fantasy and confusion.

What I am to you I was something completely different to someone else.

Part of your thoughts and feelings made me who I am, and will make me who I was.

So why hang onto it all? Our memories, our emotions and our possessions,

Our opinions, our hates, and our lifelong obsessions? 

They will not fly with us into the night sky,

Nor lay with us for eternity as this thing we call time passes us by.

Seek and you shall find,

Escape the walls put up by your mind.

a-trip-through-time-and-beyond

mental health · poetry · reading · stigma

The Sea

You cannot tame the sea,
So why try to tame me?
Forever a child,
My life cannot be predictable or mild.
Do not put the bird in the cage,
It only causes resentment and rage.
Beauty is in this storm,
It whistles and howls always changing form.
Loving her can be like a war,
But no truer love was ever saw.
I love you as you are,
Was only ever whispered from afar.
Up close you see me as strange,
This child you want to change.
But you cannot tame the sea,
So why try to tame me?

Wild Seas xsm adjusted

anxiety · depression · mental health · paranoia · poetry · reading · spoken word · stigma

Empty Screens & Empty Faces

How do I discover my place in this life, where do I fit in?
All that I see in front of me does not gratify the burning need within.
Doomed to feel lonesome while the world continues online,
While here on the outside I find so little to truly call mine.
Who am I out here? Who am I to you?
A profile picture, a twitter account, or someone you can relate to…
I’m not trying to hate or judge nor attempting to offend,
But people seem less genuine in person now and that statement I will defend.
As who takes the time for coffee anymore?
Who looks up from their phone for a moment, to politely hold open the door?
When was the last time you had a date without using an app?
Or the last time you didn’t scroll through your phone when taking a nap?
Have we become powerless with our eyes always glued to a screen!
Missing out on the world around us questioning ‘what does this life really mean?’
The nation calls us zombies walking around like the ‘living dead’,
To get things off our chest, we don’t speak to one another but write a status instead.
Apparently they used to write letters taking the time to know what to say,
Now we just violently tap our phones shoving our feelings out there on display.
Imagine if we went back in time where all this technology didn’t exist,
I feel our relationships with people might be deeper and not so easily dismissed.
I know society doesn’t often allow it but why don’t we try to put our phones down,
Step out the front door and discover real life, not being concerned about others around.
Let’s go back to the basics of human nature and learn how to interact,
Discovering ourselves and the world once more without the internet to distract.
As life isn’t happening on those screens with no heartbeat or face,
It’s here and its surrounding you, so lift up your eyes and don’t let it go to waste.

Handy-Wahn-Video

depression · grief · help · news · poetry · reading · support

Diagnosis

How cruel you are to sneak in now,

Leaving us with no time to even process how!?

To cut short our time with no courtesy or forewarning,

Leaving our hearts anxious and sad already aching and mourning.

You enter our lives with scarcely a trace,

Deadly yet silent until you expose your ugly face.

Stealing our last breath as you take one of your many forms,

Making us work desperately still searching for cures.

But just hearing your name consumes us with fear,

How much time do we have left, will they even survive the year?

Sometimes all we can do is beg and pray.

That you won’t take them from us, that they will be able to stay.

Too many lives have been claimed by you incapable to escape,

Here for what feels like just a moment, then gone without a trace.

Just know we are coming for you, we want our revenge!

For all the lives you’ve taken from us we will fight back and avenge.

But for those who have just heard your name and are filled with doubt and fright,

Do not fear, take courage as so many more are refusing to say their final goodnight.

help-friend.jpg

bpd · depression · help · mental health · poetry · reading · stigma · suicide

The Last Chapter

(WARNING: potential trigger alert)

 

The gentle fizzing noise in the background soothes my spinning mind,

Finally no need for any answers, no need for any lies.

Soon this will all be over, no more fighting anymore,

Just take another sip and keep an eye on the door.

Though mainly used for headaches, this substance numbs my pain,

The more I seem to drink the less I have to explain.

A few more deep breaths and then my head falls on the floor,

Eyes are starting to close, I guess only dying has won me this war.

 

11

charity · depression · grief · news · poetry · reading · spoken word

Humanity

Whatever you believe did we not all arrive here the same?
Confused and frightened not even knowing our name.
Where ever you grew up did not three things remain?
Faith, hope and love before we truly knew pain.
Have you never lost someone you love?
In anguish looked up at the sky and argued with whatever could be above.
We’ve all known anger, fear and have been left feeling hurt,
One day on top of the world next left forgotten in the dirt.
Do we not even simply breathe the same air?
Managing as humans to discover something we can share.
In your chest does there not beat a heart?
One that yearns and aches and sometimes falls apart.
If you take it all away which surrounds us day by day,
Are we not pretty much the same yet unique in our own way?
If you knew my name, my life, my story…
Would you have a second thought before taking it all from me?
Does it not all seem silly this hatred and war?
Like children who never grew up we are always fighting to have more.
More money, more power, more influence and more fame,
to see what this world is coming to I only feel sadness and shame.
What a shame we take that anger and throw it in one another’s face,
Yet ignore the love that’s in our hearts which should bring us together as a human race.

cute-humanity-photo-photography-picture-favim-com-338457