mental health · poetry · reading · stigma

The Sea

You cannot tame the sea,
So why try to tame me?
Forever a child,
My life cannot be predictable or mild.
Do not put the bird in the cage,
It only causes resentment and rage.
Beauty is in this storm,
It whistles and howls always changing form.
Loving her can be like a war,
But no truer love was ever saw.
I love you as you are,
Was only ever whispered from afar.
Up close you see me as strange,
This child you want to change.
But you cannot tame the sea,
So why try to tame me?

Wild Seas xsm adjusted

anxiety · depression · mental health · paranoia · poetry · reading · spoken word · stigma

Empty Screens & Empty Faces

How do I discover my place in this life, where do I fit in?
All that I see in front of me does not gratify the burning need within.
Doomed to feel lonesome while the world continues online,
While here on the outside I find so little to truly call mine.
Who am I out here? Who am I to you?
A profile picture, a twitter account, or someone you can relate to…
I’m not trying to hate or judge nor attempting to offend,
But people seem less genuine in person now and that statement I will defend.
As who takes the time for coffee anymore?
Who looks up from their phone for a moment, to politely hold open the door?
When was the last time you had a date without using an app?
Or the last time you didn’t scroll through your phone when taking a nap?
Have we become powerless with our eyes always glued to a screen!
Missing out on the world around us questioning ‘what does this life really mean?’
The nation calls us zombies walking around like the ‘living dead’,
To get things off our chest, we don’t speak to one another but write a status instead.
Apparently they used to write letters taking the time to know what to say,
Now we just violently tap our phones shoving our feelings out there on display.
Imagine if we went back in time where all this technology didn’t exist,
I feel our relationships with people might be deeper and not so easily dismissed.
I know society doesn’t often allow it but why don’t we try to put our phones down,
Step out the front door and discover real life, not being concerned about others around.
Let’s go back to the basics of human nature and learn how to interact,
Discovering ourselves and the world once more without the internet to distract.
As life isn’t happening on those screens with no heartbeat or face,
It’s here and its surrounding you, so lift up your eyes and don’t let it go to waste.

Handy-Wahn-Video

depression · grief · help · news · poetry · reading · support

Diagnosis

How cruel you are to sneak in now,

Leaving us with no time to even process how!?

To cut short our time with no courtesy or forewarning,

Leaving our hearts anxious and sad already aching and mourning.

You enter our lives with scarcely a trace,

Deadly yet silent until you expose your ugly face.

Stealing our last breath as you take one of your many forms,

Making us work desperately still searching for cures.

But just hearing your name consumes us with fear,

How much time do we have left, will they even survive the year?

Sometimes all we can do is beg and pray.

That you won’t take them from us, that they will be able to stay.

Too many lives have been claimed by you incapable to escape,

Here for what feels like just a moment, then gone without a trace.

Just know we are coming for you, we want our revenge!

For all the lives you’ve taken from us we will fight back and avenge.

But for those who have just heard your name and are filled with doubt and fright,

Do not fear, take courage as so many more are refusing to say their final goodnight.

help-friend.jpg

anxiety · bpd · depression · help · mental health · poetry · reading · spoken word · stigma

The Struggle

Oh how bitter these sorrows taste,
Positive thinking just gone to waste.
I crave a glass of something sharp and sweet,
Only a drop wouldn’t mean I’m a cheat.
These healthy remedies cannot blur my mind,
And depriving me of this escape seems so unkind.
I want to go out dancing and let my hair down,
Have a few shots then hit up the town!
Each drink made me feel lighter as my cares would melt away,
Leading me to believe I’ve outsmarted my dark day.
Yet wait, I see in the distance here comes the storm,
One moment I’m laughing and joking, the next I transform!
Becoming this tornado destroying everything in my path,
I beg don’t get in my way as I cannot stop my wrath!
Sweet liquid you tricked me, I thought you’d set me free,
Why can’t I be like the others having fun around me?
These feelings become a fire of which even you can’t put out,
A flammable liquid that once taken sends the flames throughout.
Even though I know this is the outcome I still struggle to avoid,
watching others out there having fun makes me so annoyed!
But all the things your poison stole from me cuts deeper than any knife,
and even though the struggle is real without you I’ve had a chance to take back my life.

image

depression · mental health · poetry

Drowning

An anchor to your heart,

Forever dragging you down.

Clinging on so tightly,

I’m scared you might drown.

Though I fear you may leave,

I must loosen my grip.

You start to let go,

As the chains on you slip.

Floating to the surface,

You breathe a breath of relief.

And though I feel a little lighter,

I’m still left deep down beneath.

Image result for ship anchor underwater

mental health · poetry

Entrapped

I gaze out the office window and rub my tired eyes,

Wrap my hands around my coffee mug and let out one great sigh.

Another day has come, another day has dawned,

Time to keep up appearances, just smile and get on.

Appears my destiny is typing these words over and over again,

Picking up the telephone and pretending I am sane.

Dreams are not made of this ‘soul destroying’ they say,

Surely my life is made for more than this I hope, I pray.

A break in my day a chance to get out,

As these walls that surround me suffocate me with doubt.

I wander around these streets I have known for years,

They know all my secrets even my fears.

Time flies by and eventually I return,

To these walls that surround me making my heart burn.

For another life out there which I hope one day will be mine,

If only I knew where my life was going, if only I had a sign.

But for now the day has ended and I’m home once more and drained.

Ready to go to sleep, wake up, and start all of this again.

Image result for hands around coffee

 

depression · mental health · open mic · poetry · reading · self image · spoken word · stigma

Spoken Word Poetry

 London Capture6

I have officially done my first ever spoken word event at the Canvas Cafe near Brick Lane in London for Mad Poets Speak!!!

Since I was in primary school I have written poetry and fallen in love with it’s language and the way we can use words to express emotions and thoughts turning them into something unique and beautiful.

Yesterday was the first time I have ever got up in front of others and read out my work, and though it was nerve racking it was an amazing experience.

The theme was mental health and the poems others read were incredible and so relatable, hearing others share their wonderful work and their experiences really did in my eyes help break the stigma.

I hope to discover more spoken word events and also events speaking on mental health.

To watch the video please click HERE

 

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also had this amazing vegan freakshake at the cafe!!!